I was reading about the fatal aircrash of the Germanwings Airbus 320 flight in the French Alps. All the 150 people aboard were killed in this tragic incident. As the details emerge, it becomes clear the crash was the result of a deliberate descent into the mountainous terrain initiated by the copilot Andreas Lubitz. He apparently shut himself in the cock pit while the pilot had left for a bathroom break and forced the plain down a midst repeated pleas from the pilot to let him in and screams from the terrified passengers sensing the impending disaster.
What went through the mind of this young killer-suicider? He was being treated on and off depressive illness. I would bet that he have had unsuccessful attempts to kill himself in the past. He might have returned to life at the very last minute, unable to gulp down the lethal medicines they found in his apartment room, unable to jump off the bridge in his neighborhood, unable drown himself in the icy cold waters of Rhine. His fiance's rejection might have prodded him again into the nihilistic path again . He might have had fleeting thought taking the world down with him in his jump off the precipice. His life doesn't matter. Why should anyone else's life matter? Everything is pointless. He might have been experiencing the numbness, the sort of coldness in his heart where you feel you are locked up in this iron vault immune to all emotions, where you simply do not care yourself or anyone else in this world, where everything would feel pointless, and an exit from the meaningless void becomes the only rational way out. He was breathing calmly, throughout the process. The numb mind control your body which would be devoid of the adrenaline surges that a regular person would experience in a such a scenario. No rapid heavy breathing. No palpitations. No sweating. Just his frozen soul controlling his robotic actions to crash the plight, unaffected by the heartbreaking cries around him.
